Rashi at the beginning of parshas behaaloshcha quotes a famous medrash:
בהעלתך - למה נסמכה פרשת המנורה לפרשת הנשיאים, לפי שכשראה אהרן חנוכת הנשיאים חלשה דעתו, שלא היה עמהם בחנוכה, לא הוא ולא שבטו, אמר לו הקב"ה חייך, שלך גדולה משלהם, שאתה מדליק ומטיב את הנרות
Aharon saw the chanukas ha-nesiim, and he had a chalishus hadaas. Hashem tells him to not worry because his portion is greater than theirs: he has the menorah. The Ramban famously explains that this refers not to the menorah in the beis hamikdash, but to the menorah of chanukah.
I thought it was interesting to contrast Aharon's reaction here to his reaction when he meets Moshe Rabbeinu returning to Midyan. There the torah says: גַם הִנֵּה־הוּא יֹצֵא לִקְרָאתֶךָ וְרָאֲךָ וְשָׂמַח בְּלִבּוֹ - Aharon will see Moshe's greatness, but there won't be any chalishus daas or jealousy! To the contrary, וְשָׂמַח בְּלִבּוֹ, Aharon will share in Moshe's happiness, not thinking of or caring if he personally has any role to play in this story. As far as Aharon knew, he could come out of this story with nothing: not even as a kohen. In fact, only because of this total lack of jealousy was Aharon zocheh to the choshen: ומשם זכה אהרן לעדי החשן הנתון על הלב.
Why in the one story does Aharon not get jealous at all (and therefore is zocheh to the choshen), and in the other story Aharon experiences chalishus hadaas (and because of that is zocheh to the menorah)?
Last year we discussed a deeper understanding of the Bach's distinction between chanukah and purim. To review, from a slightly different angle:
On Purim, the primary danger facing the Jews was a physical danger: Haman wanted to wipe the Jewish people off the face of the earth. The danger of Chanukah, however, was a spiritual battle: While there were many tzaros caused by the Greeks, the primary battle was against the Greek desire to convert us and erase G-d's name from his people.
On Purim, the decision to fight was obvious and inevitable. If you don't fight, you definitely die, if you fight, maybe you'll live - its a very simple cost benefit analysis. But on Chanukah, the Chasmonaim had to be מקנא לה to fight against the Greeks and the Misyavnim. And in being מקנא לה, there lies a great danger: How does a person know that their קנאה לה is genuine and stems from an authentic passion to be mikayem dvar hashem? Kinah is a dangerous middah - it is מוציא את האדם מן העולם - and 99% of the time, is a middah raah. מי יעלה בהר ה - who can say that their kinah for Hashem is authentic and justified?
What we celebrate on Chanukah then, is not just that the Chashmonaim fought this spiritual war, but that they fought a genuine spiritual war - their kinah for hashem was authentic. How did they reach this madregah?
There may not be a complete answer to this question, but we can say this: A person who has even an ounce of kinah in his bones that is shelo lishma, a kinah bein adam lachaveiro that is not pure, such a person CANNOT be mikaneh for Hashem. If a person has not been completely misgaber over the yetzer hara of kinah, then his kinah for Hashem will be tainted with the impure kinah that spills over from his middos raos. Only a person who has risen above impure kinah can even think of being mikaneh lashem.
Thus, there is no contradiction between the two stories regarding Aharon hakohen: To the contrary, Aharon only had a hetter to have a chalishus daas over his not being part of the chanukas hamizbeach in the mishkan because he didn't have even an ounce of kinah within him: proof positive, how he was able to be happy with Moshe Rabbeinu when his younger brother stole the show and left him to be a translator. Through this chalishus hadaas, Aharon was zocheh that his descendants, the chashmonaim, would continue his legacy with an authentic קנאה for Hashem.
This tension lies at the heart of קנאות: kinah for Hashem can only be genuine if a person ultimately wants not קנאות, but shalom. Thus, it makes perfect sense that the Kohanim are on the one hand described as the ultimate lovers of shalom (בשלום ובמישור הלך אתי), and yet are also involved so many times in kinah for Hashem (Pinchas, the Chashmonaim). Only the people who are ohev shalom virodef shalom have the right to be mikaneh for Hashem.
The Rambam ends hilchos chanukah with this idea:
היה לפניו נר ביתו ונר חנוכה או נר ביתו וקדוש היום נר ביתו קודם משום שלום ביתו שהרי השם נמחק לעשות שלום בין איש לאשתו. גדול השלום שכל התורה ניתנה לעשות שלום בעולם שנאמר דרכיה דרכי נעם וכל נתיבותיה שלום
Ner Chanukah represents our kinah for Hashem -- our zealotry and passion to be mikayem dvar Hashem. That passion and zealotry is a critical part of what we are as Jews, and Chanukah is the time to be mischazek, to keep the flame of passion for dvar Hashem burning brightly and constantly (ner tamid). But, says the Rambam, that passion and zealotry is only meaningful in the context of דרכיה דרכי נעם וכל נתיבותיה שלום - it has to be with an ultimate desire for shalom. We should all be zocheh to internalize both of these middos!
A freilichen Chanukah.
